People are always saying that Classical texts are BOOORING! But frankly it just isn’t always the case. Most scholars would probably use Homer to illustrate this point but let me introduce you to another far more insane and far less known text: THE TRUE HISTORY (Cough) of Lucian of Samosata.
This text only came to my attention recently and I am yet to find another person who has actually bothered reading it but it is definitely going on my recommended reading list. It has been called the first science fiction and this is really not a bad description yet i would rather describe it as Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds on…well…Lucy on the Sky with Diamonds.
Lucian starts this wonderful story by claiming that it is ‘the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth’ and that all other stories of history are cock-and-bull. Yet well let me summarise it a bit for you:
Wine flavoured fish, talking trees, horse-vultures, sun and moon inhabitants who are at war, Ostrich-slingers, catapulting of huge radishes, winged acorns riden by dog headed men, pirates sailing in giant pumpkins, cloud centaurs…etc etc. The story is certainly unique. Particularly interesting is the war between the moonites and the sunnites; Lucian claiming of course that he was in fact the first man to travel to the moon! Very science fiction i do say. On his subsiquent trip to the underworld where he is put on trial for being alive in the land of the dead he meets a miriad of famous characters. The most famous of these possibly being Homer. It is from Lucian’s accounts that we learn the ‘true’ reason why this man wrote the Iliad and the Odyssey…basically he was bored…
But i won’t spoil anymore because it is a story that you really must read for yourself!
I can see why it isn’t mentioned among the classics. The ‘True History’ just seems too far fetched for any audience. But if you want to read something different that will make you think and definitely make you laugh, written by a little man way back in the second century before the advent of Stargate, Mars Attacks and Independence Day, then this is a tale for you. One could spend much time analysing the text but seriously its too wacky a story to take in any one way so I will let you read it and think for yourself. And thus I give you Lucian of Samosata’s ‘True History’!
P.S. Watch out for flying acorns…i mean pigs…
Lucian of Samosata Vol.2 – PDF – Includes the ‘True History’
Lucian of Samosata Vol.2 – Kindle Edition